For the Love of...............Me.

Dear Mr. "Not Right for Me".................

I really needed to express this to you, and this is one of the hardest things this Diva has shared in awhile; for all those years I allowed myself to be "lost"  in you. I say "lost" because during the course of the relationship I'd actually stopped looking out for #1- Me. I'm not surprised, the relationship was doomed from the very beginning, mainly because it wasn't meant to be, both logically or morally. I believe I was very lonely, and looking for love in all the most fucked up places.

This is not some "tell it all"or even a confessional, it's me letting go. It's true people can give you advice, but only you know when it's time to truly let it go. I had a few sistahfriends who were aware of my situation, but I'd  kept it a secret from most people. Why? let's face it, I knew it wasn't right.

Fast forward to present day........................

It's been close to 3 years , and something as insignificant as a birthday present ended our relationship. The truth is the relationship had been on a down hill slope for the last year or so anyway. The gifts, the dinner dates, and romantic get aways had come to a screeching halt. However I stayed, I'd gained 30lbs and felt unattractive, and complacency was my first, middle and last name. But! my inner Diva kept whispering in my ear, telling me that I am a franchise player, and allowing myself to come off the bench for someone elses team was no longer acceptable. God will and He shall do for you what you cannot do for yourself. He knows.

Life is such a fabulous journey, and everyday holds a new experience. We have choices, and we do make mistakes, this is how we grow.  Will I miss you? Of course I will, I was in love with you, But I love me more. Do I regret the relationship? Of course I do, because right now I'm still hurting . Will I get over it? Most certainly I will because I am a survivor, a soldier, a Diva.

Sincerely your ex-mistress,

Me