Cyber Porn #1

Yupp!

 I have been actively participating in multiple online dating sites- “Cyber Porn” for almost a decade. Thirsty! That sounds like fucking dehydration, but most times it was my only oasis in a lonely desert of desperation.  Don’t judge me! It’s my truth.

These experiences sprout a long list of What If’s (he is HIM)?, WTHell’s?, and the occasional WTF*ck’s? This hodgepodge of kooky characters ranged from any assortment of Caucasian, Afro American, Hispanic, Hindi, Asian, Muslim, Catholic, Buddhist, Baptist, and handicapped (a fact held in secret until the initial meeting…Wth!) , and all unknown or known combinations in between. Every male species regardless of race, creed or sexual orientation is on the prowl, and in search of true love/sex, and any other reasonable facsimile.

**Side Rant: Why! Do these old ass Negroes got these young children. Damn near 60years old, and got babies in elementary school. ijs…

I believed that my Cyber Porn “participation” would not be any different or any stranger than the next Divas. Yes??

***Side rant:  “Just like the last b*tch, I’ll get you anything you ask for”- Tupac.

When you keep doing the same bullsh*t over and over again, expecting altered/different results….Then you’re either crazy or stupid, perhaps maybe or certainly both?  I have slept with some of them, and I have accepted money from others. I ‘m not proud of it, but….. Yeah, you’re going to have process that part for yourself, I already did.

I was a “serial dater”, looking for my next fix. That fucked up addictive personality was alive and engaging. I was dating for my own ulterior motives e.g. Dinner @ nice restaurant, maybe bored/ broke and or in need of some companionship, money or sex. Don’t judge me! It’s my truth.

**Side rant:Catfish- someone who pretends to be someone they're not, using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.

My roguish misconduct on Cyber Porn networks left me feeling unworthy, and continued to sink my self-esteem lower than I’d thought possible. You get the picture?  I had exchanged one bullsh*t addiction for different one. It was like spiraling out of control in some type of carnal “addiction”, and using lust as my feel good option. Not Cool. Not smart. Not Healthy. Don’t judge me? It’s my truth.

Diva O.U.T